well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
