this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
