Are we in a gay sports bar?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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