Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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