Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
