the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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