She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
