Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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