the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
