Soap is not a condiment
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
