If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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