Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
