Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
