She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
