Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
