THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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