I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
