I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
