id be glad to
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
