I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
