We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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