I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
