fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
