it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
