Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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