the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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