I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
