He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
