Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
