It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
