Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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