so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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