we're chasing vodka with high fives
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
