He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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