Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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