Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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