im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
