You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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