Where is the hickey?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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