yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I love you. Go after that dick
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
