Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
no. you can't hotbox the world.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
