you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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