As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
