I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
