doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
