That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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