no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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