Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
