pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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