the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
